Rachel "Sparks" Blackman (seattlesparks) wrote,
Rachel "Sparks" Blackman
seattlesparks

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Resolution

So, I've DEFINITELY been pissing people off, as I try to figure out how to stand up for things.

I think what I'm going to do is simply step back, take a deep breath...and not interfere in anyone's life at all for a while. Period.

If they irritate me or piss me off about something, I'll simply cut 'em off until I figure out how to broach the topic. If they piss off someone else, I will leave it up to them to fix things themselves rather than acting as mediator. If someone vents frustrations to me and they aren't in my direct control, then too fucking bad, I'm not going to try and help them change them.

It's one thing I did a lot of thinking about when I was alone for a number of hours on Friday night, and again -- along with other things -- on my long solo drive back from Canada yesterday evening. So much of the grief in my life comes from the fact that I try to make other people's lives easier; I let myself feel their pain as if it were my own, and it prods me to react. I need to learn to cut off this empathy and just focus on my /own/ life rather than trying to fix everyone else's.

Maybe I really DO need a change. Break away from old things, find something new, move to a new town, I dunno. Maybe I just need some fucking caffeine this morning.
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