Beethoven - in particular the Moonlight Sonata - makes me think of cuddling up in blankets on my window seat when I was little, looking out the window at the stars overhead with my telescope. Ragtime - Scott Joplin music in particular - makes me think of when I first learned to play piano, because I wanted to play like that, and can still inspire me to want to create something. Guitar music, I think is some of the most beautiful because that's what my mother plays and so what I often heard as a child.
And wistful or melancholy music makes me think back to times as a child when I was hurting, When my absolute best friend in the whole world, David, moved away to Australia with only two weeks notice when his father was transferred (I bought a camera, my first ever, just to take a picture of David so I could remember him...in the picture, he's still holding the box of both the camera and the first roll of film, which I handed to him). Dimly and barely remembered, when my grandfather died. When I was so desperately looking forward to a little brother or sister and mom miscarried and I found out I was still an only child. When my other best friend, Heather, who was born in the same hospital on the same day as me, moved away. When I was missing dad most fiercely, because for most of my childhood he was a Federal agent and was away on cases...in Alaska, in California, in all sorts of places but only home when he could bully his way into a weekend or a week home here and there. Mom would hold me on the couch, with the cats curled up with us, and would sing to me. Songs like 'The Rose', and others... I think that's why wistful and melancholy music makes me sad but also makes me feel comforted.
o/` It's the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance. It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes the chance. It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give. And the soul, afraid of dyin', that never learns to live... o/`
I know you don't read this journal, mom...but thank you.