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Writing, FF Sparks (Writing)

[Writing] This Month's Masterclass

Thog's Masterclass from this month's ansiblezine, forwarded to me by hank, is pretty funny.

Thog's Masterclass (May 2006)
Dept of Uncertain Albedo. `Her shining hair absorbs all light.' (Joan D. Vinge, World's End, 1984) [BA]
Sheepish Metaphor Dept. `The big destrier liked fire no more than Sandor Clegane had, but the horse was easier to cow.' (George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings, 1998) [DG]
Neat Tricks Dept. `I left him scratching his head with the circuit board wrapped up in the spare shirt in my backpack.' (Brian Rideout, `Pupate' in Neometropolis, June 2005) [DL]
Dept of Understatement. `Lancinations of unendurable ecstasy ravened through his consciousness, starbursts of warring sensory impulses that slipped once more to coherent phenomena, an instant before his mind shattered to follow into final chaos.' (Karl Edward Wagner, `The Dark Muse', 1975) [BA]
Miss Manners Dept. `The dragon's drool splat upon the verdant ground, a hiss of steam spiraling up in its wake.' (Michele Hauf, Seraphim, 2004) [BMS]
Dept of Martial Arts Truisms. `It is obviously impossible for an unarmed man to kill a bigger one with his bare hands.' (Margaret St. Clair, The Games of Neith, 1960) [BA]
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In the same issue:

Thog's Astronomy Masterclass.
`The Moon is only about one-quarter of the size of Earth. It does not spin on its axis so it keeps the same face towards the Sun at all times.' (Lynn D. Newton, Meeting the standards in primary science -- A guide to the ITT NC, 2000)

Gah! And this is from a book which is aimed at helping newly-qualified elementary school teachers in Britain to teach science to the standards demanded by the Government-mandated National Curriculum.
I thought you'd like it. :)