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FF Sparks (Casual)

[Geek] I Like Big Books and I Cannot Lie...

The DHL guy rang the doorbell this morning to deliver something of not insignificant weight. Stunningly, this heavy object contained only one gargantuan literary work.

Does this tome -- at this size, I cannot call it a mere "book" -- not need to come with coupons worth a complimentary hernia treatment for any reader foolish enough to carry it around? Ye gods.



Hee. Robert Jordan has said he's definately going to finish the Wheel of Time series at the 12th book.
I fully expect that when that 12th book comes out, it'll make that tome look like light reading! Not that Knife of Dreams was that small!
I stopped reading Wheel of Time several volumes ago, I admit. Still, I hope it falls on him and weighs as much as the wall he LEFT MAT BURIED UNDER FOR AN ENTIRE VOLUME.

Not that I'm bitter that my favorite character was BURIED UNDER A WALL and forgotten about for an entire volume, or anything.

Knife of Dreams is brilliant. It's back to the old WoT! I suggest picking it up again. It has lots and lots of amazing Mat bits in it!

Winter's heart has good Mat bits too. I still haven't made it through Crossroads of Twilight, I kinda gave up after Elayne's fifteenth bath of nothingness.
But fantasy novels NEED entire chapters of hair-washing! :P
How could I be so stupid? Obviously now I'll never make it as a writer. I must quickly go through all my novels and add some more hair washing.
Aghghgghgh! I had no idea that book 11 was out. I even looked in a bookstore a few weeks back. When did it come out?

[runs to bookstore] Thanks!
About a week ago? It's very very very good.

Must go buy must must must AAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Not out in the US until next month. :/

But Martin IS in town reading and signing in November!
Between Martin and Jordan, this is going to be a long month of reading. ;)
Jeez louise, and I thought Rowling had gotten out of hand. That's getting on towards an OED, Unabridged.... I mean, this is making Russians look like men of few words.

"Tome" indeed. Dickens would be proud.
Kim Stanley Robinson's 'Mars' trilogy, in Tolkein-size type, was 1957 pages in the printing I read.

Tad Williams' 'Otherland' saga was worse. One continuous story in four volumes, each larger than any single volume in 'Mars', and in the same small typeface (at least 'Mars' was three pieces in different eras). It was probably 2,500 pages, all told.

Don't get me wrong, I thought 'Mars' and 'Otherland' were worthwhile. However. There is something to be said for the SHORT story as an art form.
It forces the writer to get the point across. The semantic web has to be small and relatively uncluttered. Therefore, in order for the story to be surprising or suspenseful, it takes skill on the part of the writer.

My impression of the writing biz is that most writers (especially sci-fi writiers) get their start selling short stories (or at most, novellas). So when I see an author go from publishing pocket-size volumes to outmassing the Oxford English Dictionary or the Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Here are my suspicions (in increasing order of confidence:)

1) The author has a long, interesting story to tell.

2) The author only THINKS they have a long, interesting story to tell.

3) The author's publisher has decided that, in order to graduate into the 'literature' category on the New York Times Book Review, they need to sell much longer books.

4) The author's publisher has decided that, in order to make more money, they need to sell much longer books.
This is (at a guess, without running downstairs to check page numbers) about 1800 pages... and it is the fourth book of a series, not the series itself. And this is only *half* of the original book; it had to be cut in two as it was, and the second one will be published next year.

However, luckily, in this case point 1 is true. The series is long, but it is interesting and very well-written, and it's one of those complex stories which couldn't be told in a shorter manner. I don't grant that distinction to most series.
This is what happens when writers are allowed to use computers.
I take it back. It's 1000 pages. It is, however, 1000 pages in a smaller typeface than I usually see in hardbacks. :P
Feast for Crows is out???? Must. Go. To. Store. NOW. ACK!
In the UK. Not here. I'd put in my order with Amazon.co.uk back in 2002(!), so they gave me free expedited shipping to apologize for the 'lengthy delay.' :)

McLarge Huge

Holy Jesus. It comes with its own remote control?

Re: McLarge Huge

No, my TiVo remote -- which, mind you, is not a small remote control for purposes of scale -- happened to be on the table where I plonked the book down to snap a picture. ;P

Re: McLarge Huge

I'm not sure which is cooler. The book, that FINALLY came out (even if only in the UK) or the greatest invention ever: TiVo...well, its remote anyways.
I'm boycotting Feast for Crows!

I'm not happy with how long it took to come out, the pushed back and pushed back release dates.. (I know, I know. Good writing takes time. But still!) and I'm really not happy with the way he decided to split the book in half. Part of what made the original books was the way he juggled the different story lines and characters in -one book-. Splitting half the characters off now? It just makes me mad.

But then again, I'm silly like that.

Its been long enough since I read the last one he did that i don't care what happens next anymore. I've read a few great series between then and now, and I just don't have to have Feast for Crows.

NO FAIR!!!!!!!!!

I want one tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...