They've actually just issued a recall this week; they say it takes an hour to fix once at the dealer. They also gave me a trick to disable that portion of the control cluster when turning on the car, an 'escape sequence,' as it were, so that the car will (while being Extremely Worried) let me actually move. I'm scheduled for 1:30 tomorrow.
*mrph* At least between that, and managing to get my mother to drive me to the Apple Store at lunch (yes, I can move the VW now, but I'd prefer not to until it's fixed if I don't have to!), my stress is a little lower. Though the loss of Pix for a while is not going to make me happy.