The defense of Sergeant Charles Graner and Private Lynndie England, the supposed ringleaders of the Abu Ghraib prisoner torture scandal is not that they didn't do it... but that it wasn't torture. No, I'm not kidding. I wish I was. See, since cheerleaders pile themselves into pyramids, it's not torture to make prisoners pile naked into a pyramid. And forcing them to strip naked and be leashed is a valid method of controlling detainees.