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FF Sparks (Casual)

[Politics] 'Letter to the Editor'

Jesus Speaks Through The Republicans, apparently.

For those not interested in following a link and reading the linked letter, I'll present it here...

    I hope the election of George W. Bush is seen as a wake-up call to all the liberal Democrats who oppose God's will.

    It is His doing that George W. Bush is still our president. Millions of born-again Christians helped win this election through our prayers and votes. Jesus speaks through the Republicans.

    The Democrats will not be able to win elections until they renounce their sinful ways and stop encouraging abortions, gayness, and trying to take away our guns.

    --Earl Balboa

...I wish I could think that this letter was a joke, since it's so over the top. But I see this attitude far too often lately. Jerry Falwell, mister Balboa here, the Republican pollster who gloatingly suggested that conservatives now control the country and 'godless liberals' should be put in internment camps like the Japanese-Americans during WWII.

This all still seems like sheerest hypocrisy to me. Having faith is one thing, and is admirable. But you can't pick and choose bits of faith and then claim a righteous or moral high ground. 'Thou Shall Not Kill' has no qualifiers on it. Not 'Thou Shall Not Kill Unless They Strike The First Blow,' not 'Thou Shall Not Kill Unless It Is Thy Government's Policy,' nothing like that. How can someone give Bush or his administration a pass on that rather fundamental bit of faith -- and last I checked, it /was/ in the Bible -- and yet gleefully try to claim moral superiority and enforce rather more obscure passages which happen to be personally convenient?

I think it's a credit neither to the moderates of the Republican party, nor to anyone of the Christian faith who happens to, I dunno, actually /follow their faith/ rather than just pick and choose bits of it to get outraged over. Unfortunately, it's also either the largest -- or at least loudest and most active -- portion of the Republican party these days..


Obviously I'm pro-choice and pro-gay, but I can at least see the religious basis for taking the opposite view, but...

At what point in the Bible does anyone say "and thou shalt have unlimited access to firearms"?
Bubba 22:04


Book of Bubba

(Bah, I have to split it into two...)

Chapter 4

1And Bubba went on his way, and found him there a land rich in beer, roadkill and trailer parks.
2And when Bubba saw this, he knew this was the land promised to his people, and called the name of that place Dix-ee.
3And Bubba sent messengers before him to Cletus his brother unto the land of Urban, in the country of America.
4And he commanded them, saying: Whoo doggies, yew getcher ass off inta that there city and get Cletus ta round up the kinfolk!
5Yew tell him I got all kindsa stuff ta shoot at here, an' the neighbors got some real purty daughters!
6And the messengers returned to Bubba, saying, We came to thy brother Cletus, and also he cometh to meet you, and four hundred cousins with him.
7They settled there in the land of Dix-ee in the sight of the Lord, and married the fair daughters and begat many children.
8And the Lord saith unto them, Shoot thou now the things around you, for have I not given to you gunpowder and shot?
9And lay thy a dead pickup in thy yard in offering to Me, for did not I cause the engine to die and thus render it scrap?
10And it was good, for they shot at the roadkill with rifles, and shotguns, and pistols, and yea, even bazookas, for the Lord God did give unto them mortars.
11And they shot possums and gators and woodchucks and groundhogs and yea, even the neighbor's dog when it did bark loudly all night.
12And no more did they need fear the liberal tribes with their talk of 'education' and 'social reform.'

    --excerpt from the Book of Bubba

Re: Book of Bubba


Religious scholars have been abuzz with the news that an anthropological research party sent recently to the surface has returned with a newly rediscovered Biblical testament.

When the ecological collapse of the mid-21st century forced the remnants of the Old American public into the domed cities, some scattered rural peoples managed to survive in the ruined world outside. Despite the floods, heavy ultraviolet radiation, and severe weather patterns caused by many of the ill-advised environmental policies of the early 21st and late 20th century, these people clung tenatiously to their lives, gradually forming the loose confederation of tribal settlements known collectively as 'Rednecks.' Recent anthropological contact has uncovered the fact that, isolated for generations and seeking answers, the Rednecks produced their own revised Bible. Containing both the Old and New Testament, this Bible also has a third, additional testament known formally as 'Thuh Testymint With All Them Guns And Stuff.'

While most Biblical scholars and Christians disdain the Redneck Bible and its additional testament, some anthropologists feel that this lost book and the origin stories within it gives new insight into a rich and previously unexplored culture. "Take the story of the neighbor's dog, in chapter 4 of the Book of Bubba," suggests Teoria Zoppa, professor of modern anthropology at the University of Louisiana. "There is a sort of traditional stereotype in some circles of the redneck as a mindless, violent barbarian. But really, who out there can say that at 3am when the neighbor's dog is barking incessantly, that they haven't fantasized about going out there and shutting it up?" Zoppa believes that through study of such a manuscript, we can come to better understand the rednecks and their culture.

Others disagree, however. Chris T. Anphaith, a noted Biblical scholar, is one of them. "Meaning no disrespect to Professor Zoppa, but this is ludicrous; simply calling something a testament or a Biblical quote does not make it remotely divine or true. All this new 'testament' and the redneck interpretation of the Bible truly can be seen as is an attempt to justify a lifestyle and belief system as divinely mandated, so that any blame or guilt they might feel over actions is put off onto others."

"Take, for instance, the part in the so-called Book of Bubba where it claims that the Lord does not wish anyone to drive a vehicle lacking a gun rack," Anphaith elaborates. "As many people outside of the redneck community do indeed drive cars with no gun rack, this presents a ready-made enemy for those wishing to distract from their own moral failings; rather than confronting the fact that they are attracted to their own cousin or some other thing they might feel guilty about, they can simply point at and decry those who drive around without gun racks."

Zoppa retorts that Anphaith is simply jealous that he has tenure and Anphaith does not. "If his theories and conclusions were better than mine, don't you think it would be the other way around?"
    --excerpt from National Geographic, April 2407, 'Holy Shit: Faith in the Redneck Tribes of North America'
That would be in the book of Magnum, 3:57.
Your version of that answer was better than mine. :)
I've always thought that Winchester 44:40 was a much better reference. The book of Magnum is overrated and not far ranging enough.
Bahahaha! You're right. That does sound like it could be a joke. But it could be serious too. Scary.

And I believe that the whole nutjob religious right is a small (albeit vocal) part of the Republican party. Just like the most liberal portions of the Democratic party are small but vocal.

Unfortunately, those high-profile, noisy folks influence everyone's impressions. It's frustrating to moderates everywhere.
No kidding.

For what it's worth, I did read it to my more conservative, strong Bush-supporter office-mate and he started laughing. But then he agreed it was scary.

It's a joke. Whether, he intended it as a joke or not is irrelevant.

I've met only one person on-line that might echo his sentiments. I haven't met anyone off-line that would echo his sentiments. The Evangelicals I know are much more likely to say they aren't part of this world and their citizenship lies elsewhere, so they have no vested interest in the outcome.

Hey, there is a fine tradition of widespread slaughter in the Bible...

Presumably it's only considered "real" killing if it's not in the name of God.
Rach, I don't really see the point in reading this stuff day after day. It's not like we don't all know that these people are out there. They are. Just as an equally large number of people who think gay people are just people too, that choice is an American tradition, and that guns are a really efficient way to kill people and not much else.

You need to stop looking for things to make you sick and angry. You'll always find them. Start looking for things that make you optimistic. Read Salon instead of McCalls or whatever other wacky right publish you can find.

There are plenty of nice people in the world. They exist. Relax.
Salon headlines at the moment:

Tex ed
The Lone Star State adopts school health texts that say nothing about contraception -- even though the state has the highest birth rate among high school students in the nation. By Lynn Harris

War Room '04
Jerry Falwell's "revolution." Plus: Nader wants a recount. And: We have another fun map.

Countrywide conflict
The Iraq insurgency spreads as eight militant groups say they plan to step up operations against the "American enemy" in retaliation for Fallujah.

Right Hook
We will raze your houses and rub salt in your wounds: The right wing offers its charitable condolences to Kerry supporters.

...among others. Doesn't seem likely not to enrage or sicken me there, either. What happened to all my optimism and faith in the innate goodness of human nature, anyway? :/

Really, I suppose I just need to take a step back from the news for a bit and get back to doing some of my writing again instead, but I feel like I have to do /something/.

Oh... but they must be right to a degree...

I mean, how else doest GWB get 3000 votes from a district where there are only 600 people voting

it must be because Jesus is behind him

/ end sarcasim

i mean seriously, this additude is driving me sick... If I was Jesus, i'd be really really sick of how these people are taking my name and twisting it into their sinful ways.

Where in the bible does it say "thou shall have pride!" and "Thou shall boast" and "thou shall use my name freely"

the bible i know says something more like "thou shall be humble" "thou shall not take my name in vain" and so on and so forth..

once again, if i was jesus, i'd be sick
'Thou shall not kill' has long been interpreted to mean 'You shall not murder.' Bit of a difference, at least to me.

Why do these wackos get press? Because a) they embarass the Republican party when they go on these rants. B) they happily submit these quotes in mass mailings to editors so they are hand reference and c) they embarass the Republican party.

Some days, I truely understand why the Democrats dumped these religious wackos on our doorsteps.