September 16th, 2002

FF Sparks (Casual)

Some days, I hate my family...

So, I finally called mom back. After all, I need to get all the info on the dog's medications and whatnot.

Of course, I get a lecture. So here's the day's summary, since I'm slightly calmer; I'm marking the other stuff private since I'm not proud of how I shouted (used capital letters) in 'em, and this is really the best summary of the whole situation.

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I expect dad's going to have to act as a buffer/intermediary between mom and I tonight. Because if she tries to say /anything/ not relating to the dog's medication, I'm going to simply walk out. Period.

This is about par for mom when she feels thwarted or that things aren't going her way. Perhaps it makes it a little clearer why I've found over most of my life it's not worth trying to stand up for myself; before I moved out on my own, I really had no recourse. Or why I was not happy about the possibility of moving home again. Or why I stopped bothering trying to have much of a social life, since my plans often end up getting cancelled and mom guilt-trips me whenever I leave town to do something.

Because I do love Kumo, I'm going to do this; I'm not going to make him suffer for this situation when he's a sick doggy. But I am really, really, really REALLY angry at my mother. More than I have ever been in recent memory.
  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated
FF Sparks (Casual)

Resolution

So, I went by my parents' house to get all the dog's medication information.

...and I found my mother waiting for me with a vase of roses and an apology card. She realized that she really crossed the line calling at me and yelling at me at work, and that it was what had made me mad at her (not the events themselves prior to that). She was feeling really bad over that, especially since she was just talking to aunt Louise. (Louise is actually my grandmother's lifelong best friend, not a blood relative.) Louise's son David is dying of AIDS, and Louise said several months ago "All I wish is for my son to outlive me" because she's seen how hard losing uncle Bob (my mom's younger brother) was on grandma. Last month, Louise was diagnosed with brain cancer, and had two things to tell mom: first, that you should value any moment you have with your children...and second, be damned careful what you wish for!

So mom was feeling bad about that, especially after we sorted out the sequence of events, and also hadn't realized how big a thing this weekend was for me. She thought it was just some other spur-of-the-moment trip, not a friend's 30th birthday. Upon reflection, she realized that John (dad's old boss when he was a Federal agent, who's one of dad's two best friends even after dad retired) was back from his sailing trip and could come by to feed and care for Kumo instead.

Quite a mess, but in the end it all got resolved.
  • Current Music
    Brent watching TV in the other room