April 30th, 2002

FF Sparks (Casual)


Well, shadowfey is at the airport to catch her plane. I stood around and talked for a while with her before she had to go past the security checkpoint (where I obviously couldn't follow). Hopefully Fey's flight back goes smoothly; I always get nervous about flying, or about anyone I care about flying.

It's funny how fast I get used to someone being around, just 'feeling' their presence, for lack of a better term; I can feel around the house that Fey is gone, and it feels a little emptier and lonelier. And I know sometime in the next handful of days, wonderwombat is going to head back to Chilliwack as well; the house will be back to just brent2005, kieri and myself.

Strange, really. I am in some ways a loner; I tend to sit in the corner and read by myself, or toy with code, or doodle/draw or write or whatever...not really being part of social activities. Yet I always feel best when others are /around/ me while I do that...I don't like being alone, at all. I think I'm not really a loner, but I just don't tend to think I have a lot to contribute to social interaction even if I value human contact/presence.

Jen is at work, Brent and Fiddy-Jen are both still asleep. The house is quiet, but I don't feel alone because I know Brent and Fiddy are here... even though I'm sitting alone in the dining room with my laptop (yay 802.11b wireless Ethernet) writing up this LJ entry. Maybe that's why I value the Internet so much; I can glean some sense of human presence from friends I know from all over the world, even if I'm alone and on my own. Even if I'm not actually /doing/ anything, having the laptop on and online where I know I /can/ reach people if I felt a need is like a security blanket in some ways. Maybe that's why I also value my cellular phone; I know that human contact of at least some kind is never farther away than my coat pocket.

The human psyche is a funny thing.
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