Stupid, stupid, stupid. While our neighborhood is not bad, we are right on a couple very active traffic routes, and sometimes you get 'interesting' individuals wandering through, in addition to the very nice neighbors.
So, standing at the door is this fat, smelly guy wearing a stained pair of sweatpants, a ratty sweatshirt, and sneakers which are wrapped in duct tape. His forehead is covered in bandaids, and he's hauling two clear plastic garbage bags filled with empty McDonald's containers -- drink cups, mostly -- behind him.
"Hi. Can I wash up? I need to piss really bad."
"The stores won't let you use the restroom to wash up, because they're afraid you'll break it."
"I'm about to..."
"See, I'm from the midwest. They build things there to last. People aren't worried that you'll break their bathrooms, so they let you take a piss. Can I take a piss?"
"...I'm about to meet with some folks, and I'll be leaving."
"But I'll only take a minute. I just need to piss. I come from the midwest, I can piss fast."
"...right. Yeah, I'm really sorry, but... well, there's a motel right across the street, maybe they could help?"
"I checked at the motel. They said I couldn't take a piss because it's wear and tear on their bathrooms. They said to ask the people along the street."
*makes a mental note to take vengeance on the motel management* "Ah. Well, y'know where Fremont is?"
"Yeah. It's *points northeast* over there. Just west of here."
"Actually, it's *points southwest* just over that way, three blocks south and one block west. There's lots of pubs there, maybe one of them could let you use the bathroom."
*shakes bag of McDonald's debris* "Pubs... they don't like you to use their bathrooms. They have deadbolts on the doors."
At this point, bayushi and amezuki really did show up, I ushered them in, apologized to the odd individual, and closed the door.