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Glare, Grouchy

Brilliant Insomniac Moneymaking Scheme

So, I'm laying here, trying to find a position where my sinuses are not suffocating me, and I finally get up to get online and check e-mail because, in a sitting position, it's not quite so bad. And then I get this absolutely brilliant idea for a way to make millions of dollars.

Nasal vacuums: stuff a little tube up your nose into your sinus, turn on the vacuum, and schlorp, all the mucus is gone. It would make a fortune during cold or allergy seasons! Plus, if my current nasal state is any indication, you could also reclaim the contents of the vacuum, to be marketed as either super-glue or some sort of industrial sealant. Thus adding a second revenue source!

Or perhaps I am simply going mad due to lack of oxygen because my nasal passages have evidently been sealed with some sort of organic epoxy.

Comments

Utterly disgusting, but you never know, it could work. Of course, it also sounds like if you get it wrong, you're having instantaneous preparation for mummification...

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Brains are overrated anyway; George Bush doesn't have one, and he made it to the White House!

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Yeah, but around these parts, comparing someone to him is an insult!

Besides, that has more to do with family connections. Don't worry bro, it's in the bag. (Another Floridian quote.)

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If I weren't dead tired and congested to the point that using a drill to drain my sinuses is starting to seem a viable solution, I'm certain I could come up with something at least, if not witty, vaguely snerk-worthy.
That's a... fascinating... entry. Especially when you're reading it over lunch.

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No doubt. :)