I spent the night looking over old letters from grandma, and pictures of when I was younger. Pictures of a little me, four years old, cuddled up against grandma on the old secondhand couch we used to have, asleep with her arm around me. Pictures of grandma looking over my shoulder proudly as a 13-year-old me showed off the first real video game I ever wrote, back on the C64, demonstrating multiplayer modem play with my best friend (and the game's co-author). Pictures of me back in Philadelphia, raking up the leaves in grandma's yard while she sat on the porch and watched.
I'm going to try and go back to bed now. I'm tired, though I dunno that I'll be able to really sleep. Thank you to everyone who expressed sympathies in comments in the last post.