Rachel "Sparks" Blackman (seattlesparks) wrote,
Rachel "Sparks" Blackman
seattlesparks

Gah

So, I am evidently an idiot.

Close to a month ago, my foot began to really, really hurt. I assumed it was just a sprain and tried to put it out of mind. Even when my foot began to swell a bit and I couldn't fit my shoe on properly without it binding, I didn't really think much of it. Sprains swell a bit too, after all.

And while it continued to hurt and the swelling remained (and did seem to get a bit worse), it (seemingly) stopped bothering me so constantly, though periodically reminded me that it hurt. I didn't think much of it -- just some minor injury -- since I was a little more absorbed both with work and with the fact that I'd ceased getting a good night's sleep at all. (For the record, I've not actually /slept/ more than about 3 or 4 hours a night for the past few weeks.) I found myself oddly disinclined to leave the house anymore, or to wander around cleaning up like I used to. And I found myself falling from a malaise (which had already affected me) into an actual depression. Oddly enough, while getting out and about was nice during this time, by the time I got home I was more drained and depressed than before I'd left.

So, tonight, Jen finally wants to take a look at my foot. It's noticeably swollen (Jen's words being 'like a grapefruit')...but when she applies a little pressure, it's this horrible shooting pain that makes me want to scream and forces me to grit my teeth. And suddenly I realize, wow, it really /has/ been hurting badly all this time, but I sort of tuned it out...just didn't let myself notice it consciously. Doubtless this continual pain is why I've been unable to sleep, and I imagine it's probably been draining me and leaving me depressed. It also explains why getting out and about (putting on a shoe and walking places) or being up-and-about too much has been draining. I've realized, looking back, that I've been manuevering myself whenever possible so that weight is off my right foot whenever I can, and avoiding stairwells and suchnot.

I'm going to try icing it and leaving it raised for the next few days. If that doesn't bring down the swelling, I'm going to go to a doctor. Right now, the ice is actually making it feel worse, since it's penetrating whatever little mental block I'd put in place; at the moment it hurts enough that I'm actually shaking. But it's also less stiff than it was, and moves a little more readily.

Hopefully whatever happened to it, it'll heal soon. In the meantime... ow?
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