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FF Sparks (Casual)


NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.


Read the whole story on Yahoo's feed of the Weekly World News (a thoroughly reputable news source, as we all know)...

Hahahah. Man. What a bizarre story...! Doubt it's remotely true, though. :)


Day 1:  $         800.00
Day 14: $ 350,000,000.00

I can't believe even an insider could do that. Must be a visitor from the future.
I've been to the year 2256
Not much has changed but I've seen the stock market
And my great-great-great-granddaughters...
A trillionaire
If you were a time traveler, would you have gone to New York in 2001? That's crazy talk.

Obviously he's lying, because any sensible time traveler invester would have gone for the early 90s and gotten out just as the market tanked.


Who's to say that didn't happen? Wouldn't that explain the dot-bomb more than taking responsibility for greed and opportunism?

Someone sure is about to get nicked by the time cops. ;)